What I love about the above quote (which I transcribed as best I could from the podcast) was both how inarticulate it is and how much (as I listened to them) it resonated.
They have a shared experience in that both of their life partners died — and they are both comedians. The simple line at the end:
“Hey — now I need to process this- I need to lie in the weeds and think for awhile,” expresses this unfurling idea.
The intense, mixed, unwieldy, random sensations the pass through as you “lie in the weeds” after asking (commanding?) friends and loved ones to stop texting and contacting you. The silence that allows those often timid sensations to come forward to be felt…
You know what they seem like? These emotions/ feelings/ sensations are timid in that way where they are like, Oh, man…you aren’t going to like us :) we’ll just hang back for awhile and wait until it’s quiet and everyone has gone home. Then we’ll quietly join you so you can have time to appreciate us and understand our worth and necessity.
Something like that?
Do you have those guys in your life? In times of crisis, in times of collective “getting s*** done”, in times of action it’s not really very convenient to have those sensations/ feelings around. So we often tuck them away for later…and sometimes it can be very tempting to keep them at bay.