This week I contemplated legacy. I heard comedian Jimmy Carr in an interview with Mike Birbiglia say “Your legacy is your work — and then what else you leave, is kinda, it sort of doesn’t matter.”
This Sunday at church, Pastor Rick talked about the idea of having a metaphorical trellis holding up your life. Your “way of life” as it were. One of the threads the trellis is built with is your work.
Later in that interview / conversation between Jimmy Carr and Mike Birbiglia, discussing the idea of wills, Jimmy says to Mike something like: “If you and your wife die, your daughter doesn’t need money. She needs love, and you can’t leave that love behind.”
Last week, a couple hours after I had hit send on this newsletter, I lived out the concept of “rewrite” and that idea that as a performer in my own life, I can’t revise.
I literally fell into a bit of a metaphorical puddle in front of one of my kids, sad that they wouldn’t come hiking with me. I yelled out to their closed door, “I’m sad. I’m really, really sad. I miss you. I miss you a lot and I want to be mature and just clean the house instead of hiking but I am having a really hard time with that because I am very sad.”
I managed to quieten myself, consider everything, and decided to go hiking by myself. I met lovely new friends, a teen daughter who had convinced her mom to go (!) and we had a really lovely day.
My dear one and I had a lovely conversation later where he, smiling, said, “You know, I never said I would for sure go hiking. I was tired.”
I heard that. I asked if he would go next Monday. He said he would like to. Then he said, “But I am not going to commit.”
I smiled and said “I hear you.”